What if “making it” doesn't feel the way you think it will?

That was the question ringing in my ears after chatting to Denise Duffield-Thomas on Rich Woman Rising. podcast. Known for her bestselling books like Chill and Prosper and her wildly successful Money Bootcamp, Denise has helped thousands of women transform their money stories. But in our conversation, she did something rare... she cracked open the myth of financial freedom and revealed the messy, deeply human truth behind it.

And... the surprising reality she shared was that money didn’t fix her nervous system! 

Denise’s childhood was a blueprint for chaos. She moved homes constantly, living in housing commission neighborhoods, swinging from scarcity of having not enough food to sudden bursts of luck. Her mother, despite her optimism, created an unpredictable world. As a result, Denise internalised an emotional rollercoaster of “something good, something bad,” never feeling fully safe. That nervous system pattern didn’t disappear when the money came.

In fact, it intensified.

She describes how even after becoming financially successful, she found herself stuck in cycles of overworking, continuing to be overly responsible financially for her family, and overcompensating. At one point, she bought 22 couches in a single weekend... a wild but telling symptom of someone trying to soothe an old childhood wound with wealth. She explained that in childhood, “having things” felt impossible. She wasn't able to collect things or build a true sense of stability in her home. So she learnt that scarcity wasn’t just about money... it was about safety, stability, and control.

The breakthrough moment was when she realised money is not the solution. Safety is.

That hit me hard. So many of us chase income goals thinking they’ll unlock emotional peace. But Denise calls BS on that idea. She explains that without healing our underlying beliefs and regulating our nervous systems, we just recreate the same trauma loops... except now, with a bigger bank account.

And the ironic thing is... we often punish ourselves for not feeling better once the money arrives.

Denise openly admits that even at the peak of her success, she wrestled with guilt, burnout, and identity confusion. “Who am I if I’m not trying to overcome something?” she asked. It's a question many high-achievers never stop long enough to ask. We become addicted to the struggle. We define our worth by what we survive.

So what changed for her?

Not affirmations alone (though she’s a fan of them as pattern interrupters), but a conscious decision to downsize her home, to stop hoarding, to unravel enmeshed roles in her family, and to make peace with being enough... without proving it through productivity.

She sold her big house. She’s selling the farm. She walked away from the fantasy of “arriving” and instead began redefining wealth as stability, not accumulation.

And the most powerful part is her desire to raise her kids differently. Not just giving them money, but trying to hand down nervous system safety as the real legacy. She says, “Rather than the legacy be money, how can we create a legacy of regulation?”

It’s revolutionary. It’s also messy.

What I love about Denise is that she doesn’t pretend to have it all figured out. She talks about the awkwardness of financially supporting her mother, the pressure of trying not to spoil her children, and the shame she’s had to shed just to enjoy her success. But the lesson she shares is clear... healing your money story is never just about the money.

It’s about identity. It’s about boundaries. It’s about learning to feel safe while receiving, spending, and not needing to constantly prove your worth through work.

For anyone who’s ever believed that they'll feel different once they have money... this episode is a must listen!!! 

Denise reminds us that we can be wealthy and still healing. That we’re allowed to want more, but also, to rest. And that the most radical thing we can do with money might not be spending it... but using it to feel safe in our bodies, our relationships, and our decisions.

Because the truth is if you don't feel safe with nothing, you probably won't feel safe with everything either.

And maybe that’s where the real work begins...

 💸 You know you’re meant for more, but every time you try to level up financially, something stops you.  It’s not that you’re bad with money, it’s that your nervous system is stuck in survival mode.

I get it! That's why I help women just like you rewire their nervous system’s response to wealth, so they can stop living in financial fear, break the feast-or-famine cycle, and finally feel safe earning, keeping, and growing their money.

Because financial confidence isn’t just about knowing what to do... it’s about being able to hold wealth without stress, guilt, or panic. And when your body stops seeing money as a threat? Everything changes.

What next? 

Click here to listen to the Rich Woman Rising podcast episode

Click here to watch the free masterclass to break through your abundance ceiling.

Ready to step into your Expansive Self? Let’s regulate yourself to riches!

Connect with Denise Duffield-Thomas:

Website: https://www.denisedt.com/

Money Bootcamp: https://www.denisedt.com/bootcamp

Check out her books: https://www.denisedt.com/books

And, listen to her podcast here: https://www.denisedt.com/podcast