The Friendships You Don’t Talk About

Here's what they don't tell you when you start your business journey: as you rise, some friendships will feel like a fave jumper that suddenly doesn't quite fit anymore. You know that feeling, right? When you're dimming your light, playing small, or choking down your excitement about landing that dream client because you don't want to make others uncomfortable?

How Your Body Tells You When a Friendship Isn’t Safe Anymore

• Your shoulders pulling up toward your ears when certain friends ask about your business?
• That heavy feeling in your gut when you're pretending your latest win isn't actually that big a deal?
• The way your breathing gets shallow when you're trying to stay "relatable"?

That's your body dropping some serious hints! You're starting to notice that when you're around certain people, it feels hard. You can't be yourself and you certainly can't share your success without some undermining comment being made. 

The way your body reacts is giving you so many clues on the safety of those friendships. But sometimes we stay in friendships too long out of habit, familiarity and wanting to avoid conflict of having a difficult conversation. 

Why Small Things Are Starting to Feel Like a Lot

The thing is - if we don't listen to our body's cues, we are going to increase our stress thermometer. When our stress thermometer is increased, everything else in our life feels more stressful too. You know those moments when some minor inconvenience occurs and you blow up like a volcano... that's because our stress thermometer got to boiling point. We want to keep that at a neutral level and deal with stressful things as they happen, rather than waiting for a huge blowup. 

Feel. Notice. Adjust. The New Way to Handle Draining Relationships

That's why noticing our emotions in our body can be a helpful way to identify what's going on with our friendships. Often we don't spend a lot of time thinking about them, or we just complain about it. But here's what I've learned to do instead:

1. Feel Your Feelings (Like, Actually Feel Them)

• Notice where the tension lives in your body
• Give yourself permission to be sad/angry/confused
• Remember that discomfort often means you're growing

2. Trust Your Body's Signals

• When you leave a friend feeling drained, that's not just tiredness - that's your body saying "Hey, something's not adding up here!"

3. Choose Your Energy Circle

• Think of yourself as a gorgeous plant (stay with me here!). You need:
  
  • Sunlight = Friends who light you up
  • Water = Connections that help you grow
  • Good soil = A foundation of people who get your journey

The "But I Don't Want to Be Mean" Solution

You're not mean for outgrowing relationships - you're human. Here's how to handle it with grace:

• Have honest conversations (when it feels right)
• Create loving distance (yes, it's possible)
• Find your new tribe (they're waiting for you!)

Here's what I need you to know: You don't need to apologise for your success. You don't need to make yourself small to keep others comfortable. And you absolutely don't need to stick with friendships that make your soul feel squeezed.

You’re Not Mean for Growing. You’re Regulated.

Start by checking in with yourself after your next friend catch-up. How does your body feel? Where's your energy at? Let that be your guide.

And remember - for every friend who can't handle your growth, there's a whole community of women ready to celebrate your wins, support your journey, and maybe even share a champagne when you hit those big goals!

Here's to choosing your people wisely and letting yourself shine.