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Welcome to another episode of Rich Woman Rising. I'm your host Eloise Tompkins, and I'm a money coach and psychologist who help women just like you to heal their relationship with money by using the nervous system to regulate and rewire your capacity to receive wealth. I love doing that. I swear I love the work that I do. It is so much fun and so rewarding to see my clients make all of these incredible shifts when it comes to being able to step into their full potential, and what I want to have a bit of a chat about today in today's episode is the version of you that is currently running your business. Now I had a recent experience where I came across
a version of me who was kind of making a lot of money, and I was making a lot of money, and I was making a lot of money, and I was making some decisions that they probably shouldn't be; some very lovely mentor of mine lovingly called me out on this, and I was very surprised at how this part of mine was still being present even though I have done so much work, have so much self-awareness, and yet this part was still in the driver's seat. And I was like, 'Oh my gosh!' As soon as my mentor and I worked through it and explored it, I was able to take a different action, and one that actually aligned with the empowered version of me that I actually want to be and so I want to share this with you because we operate so much on autopilot and you'll hear me talk about this quite a lot where we do we
operate on autopilot a lot of the times in not just our business but in life and the other thing I think that we can forget too sometimes and I know I've had conversations with women about this is where we will say things like or have thoughts that because I run a business that is separate from my personal life that is separate from my personal self-development journey but the reality is and I have seen this not only with other women but I've also seen this with other Women, and I've seen it and felt it within my own self, is that our business is the biggest personal development journey that we can ever go on, and we cannot separate personal versus business; they are just so intrinsically linked.
And I was made very much aware of this through my own experience recently, which I will share with you and I will go into a little bit more as we dive into the episode, so this is something that I use a lot in the work that I do with clients. What I want you to think about is whether you have had this experience where you have kind of like got this part of you that's like 'Yes, I want to make more money in my Business I've got all of these goals, I know what my potential is, and I know that if I can just figure out what's holding me back, then I will be able to get there.
You might be able to really identify with that or it might look or sound a little bit different for you, but ultimately, there's this this kind of team which you can be a part of, you that knows you can, you can do it. It's almost like you're looking over the rainbow and you can see the pot of gold, but you know how, when you get closer to a rainbow, it disappears-like you can never quite get to the rainbow. And it's kind of, I don't know if that just came to me then I'm like, Oh, it kind of relates. So if you can't get to the rainbow, how can you find the pot of gold that's on the other side? Right. And what we want is we want that pot of gold, but how do we get there?
If we can't figure out where the fucking rainbow is, then we have this other part that kind of comes out and can, I don't know, it's almost like it can be really critical or a dampener and it almost, you know, might say different things to you. But for me, it's kind of like, you can't do this. Who do you think you are? You're not the kind of person that can deserve wealth. Even though you want it, it's just not going to happen for you. And. Logically, I get it. And I'm like, okay, I hear you. Thank you. Wonderful. Thanks. And I just want to tune that out. I just want to be like, yeah, okay, great. I will just pretend like you don't exist. And I used to do that for a long time.
Disclaimer, that does not work. That is why I do the work that I do with you, because that doesn't work. But if you're still kind of in that space, then I get that you might think that that works. And, how's that going for you? Because when we try and pretend that it's not there, generally what happens is it just comes back a little bit louder. And I kind of describe it to my clients, like, and it's, I laugh because the analogy that I'm going to use, I have my dog beside me, kind of talk to my clients. Like if you pretend that an emotion or a thought or something doesn't work for you, then you're not there. And I just want to tune that out.
And I just want to imagine that that was a dog and the dog had come up to you and it wanted to be patted and you were ignoring it. What would the dog do? And if it was like my dog, it would come up to you and it would say, like, it would poke, he would poke his little head at me and say, 'Mom, I want to pat mom. I want to pat mom. I want to pat.' If I continue to ignore him, he'd be more persistent. Hey, I'm here. His little nose would go. Boop. And I'd get like this little wet patch on my arm of his nose, letting me know that he was there. If I still ignored him, he might bark and go rough and let me know I'm here.
Pay attention to me. I'm not going away. I have a need. That need is to be patted. Give me attention. Dogs are very good at getting their needs met because they're persistent. And it's like our emotions. It's like what's happening in our body with these parts. The thing is we want to ignore them. We want to pretend that they're not there and that they don't exist. And when we do that, what actually happens is they arc up and they say, 'Give me attention.' So it makes sense. But we try and pretend it's not there. So thinking through all that, we also then have kind of these two – it's like this inner conflict is how a lot of my clients will describe it.
And it's kind of like they, on the one hand, they know what they want to do. They know how to, they know where they want to get to. They have some sense that there's more in them that they're capable of achieving more. They've got more potential. And on the other hand, there's this sense of, 'but something's holding me back.' I don't, I don't quite know what it is, but there's something. And they can kind of pinpoint there's a little bit of fear, feeling scared, unsure, uncertain, anxious. And yet they don't know how to, how to break through that. Interestingly, well, I find it interesting and I hope you're finding it interesting too. When we think about these two, I guess, parts or these two versions of you, right?
Are they the same or are they different? Because when you think about it, or when I think about it, they're different. The expansive version of me who wants to reach my goals is not the same as the part of me that is like, can feel stuck or unsure or uncertain or doubt myself or second guess myself. They're different. And we can have lots of these different parts. We have lots of them. We have lots of different parts. And I, you know, this isn't a, we, we, or crazy, you know, it doesn't mean that you're crazy or that we're weird for having all of these parts. It just means that we have, um, versions of us that want different things. And they've developed over the years for lots of different reasons.
Our subconscious is, you know, tried to keep us safe over the years and develop these like, uh, versions of ourselves that all want different things. And, you know, we sometimes hear of like the inner child, kind of like that, right? Like we have an inner child who might feel really scared or might have, um, a part that feels a little bit more protective. We have these parts that help to keep us, um, that help us in lots of different ways. They think they're helping us. So I want you to think about the parts that you have, and I want you to think about, um, why they're there. And so when you think about the part that does, uh, want to reach those goals, what, what is its motivation? What is its purpose?
And the part that is holding you back, what is the purpose of that? Because usually there's a purpose. Usually there's a reason that we have these, um, versions of ourselves and what can happen is these different versions of us. I kind of imagine it. Like if you imagine it, that you're in a boardroom and you're hosting a meeting, you want your expansive self to be the one running the show. And if you're hosting a meeting, you want your expansive self to be the one running the show. You want that expansive version of you who has reached her goals, who knows that she's capable, who knows that she's worthy, who knows that she can do whatever she wants. You want her to be running the meeting, right?
Because if she's running the meeting, you know, that you are going to be able to smash out your goals. The problem is if we have other versions of us who are trying to run the show, right? Like, let's just say we have, um, the I'm trying to think of like what we can call it, the controller, for example, um, who says, no, everything has to be perfect. Everything has to be, um, a hundred percent ready before we do anything. Then you're going to be burning out. That part is going to keep you burning out, right? Whereas if you have, um, a people pleaser part, then that might be holding you back by saying, oh, no, you can't charge that much. I don't think so. No, that's too much.
They're going to say, no, they're going to reject you. And if they're the ones running the meeting, if they're the ones kind of running the show, then it's going to be really hard for you to step into your expansive self and let them run the meeting. So that is why I love helping my clients to identify the parts that they have that they're not going to be able to have that. Um, because when we can start to look at the different, um, versions of ourselves and identify which one of these are running our business at any given time, then we can start to make more informed choices and we can start to step into our expansive self, because she is the one that will be making these aligned decisions.
And this is exactly what happened to me recently, where I was, I was talking to my mentor and I was explaining how I had this really cool opportunity come up that I was super excited about and then panicked. And I was like, 'nah', I think it's a bad decision. I just, I don't think it's a good idea. I think it's a really bad decision. And I'm going to say, 'no', like I just, it just doesn't feel good. And my mentor, reflected back to me because I work with a somatic, um, practitioner because I love the nervous system. I love the body-based work. So I do that work myself as well. Like I've both individually, but also with my mentor. And she said to me, Ellie, as you've been talking to me, your breath has been incredibly shallow.
You have not been breathing deeply and you have not been maintaining eye contact and you have, um, pulled back and withdrawn. And do you know, I did not even notice because as I was sharing my experience, my body was just responding and I didn't even have any idea. And what we uncovered was that my, I have a part that's really, really young. And what that part will often say and believe is I'm not good enough. And that part had come out. And was running the show. That part had been triggered. That part, uh, had developed this belief or not even had developed this belief that that part had gotten triggered and was like, you're not good enough. You've got this opportunity. You're going to fuck it up. You're not ready for that.
You can't do it. Nah. And so they had taken over my boardroom and they were calling the shots. And when I realized that, and kind of sat in the discomfort of knowing that I was then able to recognize, okay, well, now that I've recognized that my 'not good enough' part has kind of, um, been running this decision and now I'm aware of it. Now I can let my expansive self step into the role of, um, the boardroom, um, meeting chair and get them to take over. Um, and so that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, some of those decisions. And when I did that, my mentor, again, reflected back to me, Ellie, now that you've come to this realization, you've developed awareness and you've been able to meet that not good enough part.
And we did a little bit of inner child work and nurturing around my inner child, um, which is all stuff I would do with my clients as well. Um, which is so powerful. It all shifted. And I was like, Oh, actually, this is a really cool opportunity. And I'm actually really excited. And even if it does go pear-shaped, I know that I have, I know that I'm capable of being able to navigate that and deal with that if it came to that. And that is the power of being able to recognize who is chairing the meeting or another way of looking at it is who is driving the bus. If you've got passengers on the bus, who is driving the bus?
Is it your expansive self or is it some other part of you that is not necessarily, um, focused on achieving the same goals that your expansive self has? And if that's the case, then it can be really powerful to do this work and get clarity on the different parts. And this is stuff that we touch on in the eight-week program. Um, but it is something that when I get my 12-month, uh, program up and running, we'll definitely be diving into this more because it is such powerful, uh, work to do to really help you to understand and connect with the, yeah, the versions of you that all try and come out to run your business. And, um, I have such fun with it. My clients have a lot of fun with it.
Um, and we get to do some really beautiful things. In fact, work as well, which I absolutely adore. Uh, and there's just so much more that I could say on this topic. Um, you know, like it's, if you haven't done like this kind of work before, it can be a different way of exploring, um, how you view yourself and it goes, allows you to go deeper than just understanding yourself on a rational, level on an intellectual level. And as you know, that is something that I love to do. I think intellectualizing and intellectualizing that can be a person, a part, a version of you who drives the bus as well. I used to have a very strong part that would intellectualize and it would be driving the bus.
I knew myself really well, la la la la la. And, um, that was actually keeping me very stuck. And I would suspect that it's keeping a lot of you stuck as well. Having this part that's very self-aware. Um, but likes to stay in the driver's seat and doesn't let your expansive self, um, you get behind the wheel. So, um, if you're curious about how to get behind the wheel and have your expansive self, um, hit me up for a discovery call and let's have a chat about how I can help you one-on-one to meet your expansive self, and to do some of this work. Because like I said, it's a lot of fun. It's, it's really powerful and it makes that, that subconscious work happen really, really fast. But that being said, that's all from me for today. Um, if you liked the podcast, please consider leaving a review so that other women will get to learn about this podcast; share it with your friends. And I can't wait to see you all again next week until then take care. Bye.
