WEBVTT
Hello, hello,
welcome back to the Rich
Woman Rising podcast for
twenty twenty five.
Oh, I can't believe I'm saying that.
But here we are.
My name's Eloise Tompkins
and I'm a money coach and psychologist.
And I love helping women to
heal their relationship
with money by finding the
subconscious root cause of
what is holding you back.
And the way that I do that
is by tapping into the body,
which is something that as
women we have been so disconnected from.
which stems back way back
when into our childhoods.
And if you listen to the
podcast or follow my work,
you know that the subconscious,
our childhood,
they're all things that I
like to talk about quite a
lot because they have a
huge impact on the
decisions that we're making
in our business today.
They're having a huge impact
on our relationship with money today.
And a lot of the time we as
women like to focus on the logical,
rational,
surface level solutions that we
think are going to heal our
relationship with money
because they feel more comfortable.
And the work that I do is,
often doesn't feel
particularly comfortable.
It can feel a little bit uncomfortable,
but you know what?
One of the things that I
always like to say is
comfortable isn't going to
get you to financial
freedom because at the end of the day,
we need to feel our feelings.
And if we don't feel our feelings,
then you are doing yourself
and your business a disservice.
And that's something that I
want to talk about today.
And
So Ellie, take a step back.
I get really passionate
about this and I'm really
excited to share this episode with you.
And one of the things that I
want to do with you today
is take you through a bit
of a practical exercise to
help you understand
yourself and your emotions
and your body so that you
can go into two thousand
and twenty five from a
place of being grounded,
and not burning yourself out
and not getting to March, April, May,
June and going, oh my gosh,
why the fuck am I so burnt out?
Because,
this time of year,
like the new year period is
a really fascinating time
for me because as a high achiever,
I am constantly looking
ahead and I have to remind
myself to look back at
where I've come from and
what I've achieved.
And I suspect that it might
be similar for you.
And often what I see in my
high achieving clients is this real
in a critic that comes out
at the end of the year that
looks back over the past
twelve months and says,
you didn't achieve enough.
You could have done more.
There was more opportunity.
Why didn't you take it?
Why didn't you get to all of
the goals that you said you
were going to?
And then it also says, that's okay.
Twenty twenty five.
That's going to be a year.
That's when we're going to
achieve all of our goals.
And then we start to put these really wild,
audacious goals in place.
And look,
I have no problem with wild goals.
I set them myself.
I encourage my clients to set them.
However,
what I do not like is when we set
goals that are going to
just completely fry our nervous system.
And I think we need to find
a way to balance both.
But I think that what we
really struggle with is
being able to identify, well,
how do I know when my
nervous system is starting
to feel a bit frazzled?
And often what we recognize
is when our nervous system
is feeling frazzled,
we're at that point of, oh my fucking God,
I am so overwhelmed and I need a break.
Like, otherwise I'm going to burn out.
Otherwise I'm not going to be,
I'm going to burn my
business down and like, no,
can't do it anymore.
I don't want you to get to that point.
I don't want you to operate
at that point where you
feel that it's just all too
much because it doesn't
have to be that way.
And the image that kind of
comes to my mind is like
this pendulum swinging, right,
where you get to that point
of like complete overwhelm and it's like,
okay, I need a break.
And that's the other side of
the pendulum where you take
that break and
And people say,
like that saying comes to
mind of build a life you
don't need a holiday from.
Now,
I interpret that as build a life that
you don't need to go on holidays to calm,
to relax, to unwind.
Build a life where being calm, grounded,
relaxed and sustainable is
part of your DNA.
Because otherwise,
when you go on that holiday,
you are going to be
exhausted and burnt out and
probably not going to enjoy
yourself as much as you would.
So that's how I want people
to be able to build their life,
build their business in a
way where your nervous
system is actually grounded
more often than not,
rather than living in that
state of anxiety.
Because living in that state of anxiety,
it's exhausting.
It is so exhausting.
But how do we do that?
That is the million dollar question.
And how can we set up our
two thousand and twenty
five in a way that is
actually sustainable?
The first part is to
recognize your stress
response or your anxiety response and
What does your body show you
when you're feeling stressed,
when you're feeling anxious?
What does it do?
Chances are you will start
noticing that your body is
stressed when you're at
that point of complete overwhelm.
And you might say things like, well,
I'm really irritable.
I'm snappy.
I find it really hard to concentrate.
I sit on my phone and doom
scroll or I binge watch Netflix.
I don't want to do anything.
Or you might notice that
your heart races faster and
your breathing changes.
You might notice that your
sleep is like it's harder
to get to sleep.
You might find that you have
insomnia or you wake up a
lot more during the night.
You might notice that your
appetite changes,
that you're eating more or less.
those are all signs that you
are feeling stressed or anxious.
And when that happens,
that's usually at a point
where you are at that seven
or eight out of ten,
where it's kind of at that
point where it's like, well,
I'm reaching my upper limit here.
But what we really don't do a lot of
is identifying, well, okay,
what are the signals that
we have when we're starting
to feel stressed?
And I do this work a lot
with clients and a lot of
them find it really
fascinating because we
don't talk about it.
We don't think about it, but I say to them,
okay,
so if you can identify a seven out
of ten,
how would you identify a one out of ten?
How would you identify that
tiny little bit of stress?
And I always am fascinated
by that look of
bewilderment in their eyes, like, oh,
my gosh,
I've never thought about that before.
And so that's what I want
you to think about is your stress levels.
And if you were to kind of
chart it from zero,
which is kind of calm,
to ten which is like oh my
gosh I am like volcano
explosion overwhelmed can't
deal gonna burn my business
down to the ground how do
you identify your stress
levels at each point on a
scale of zero to ten
because I tell you what
when you can identify your
stress levels at one two three
And you do things at those levels there.
You set boundaries and you say,
you know what?
I can't take on a new client
right now because you know
that you're at a three and
that taking on a new client
will boost you up to a four.
And then that client will be
really demanding and want
things done really fast,
which is then going to add more pressure,
which will then bump you up to a five.
And then you're going to
have your kid fall over and
need to go to the emergency
department because they broke their arm.
Then boom, you're up to a seven.
So knowing those earlier stress,
anxiety responses is going
to help you to be able to
manage your emotions more
effectively so that you can
actually take earlier action and
rather than waiting until
you're at that point of a
seven or an eight and going, oh my gosh,
I'm so overwhelmed.
Because I know that I'm not
the only one that does that.
I work with a lot of clients
and they tell me that they
do the exact same thing.
And it's not a fun space to be in.
And if you're able to think about this,
then it's really going to
help you go into.
recognize your stress
response so that you don't get to March,
April, May and go, oh my God,
I am so overwhelmed.
And this is exactly the kind
of stuff that I coach my
one-on-one clients with.
It is stuff that I go
through in the Aligned Wealth Academy,
which is my
group program that helps you
heal your relationship with
money because this stuff is
important to be able to
understand because when you
get a grasp of how your
emotions show up and when they show up
and you can start to take earlier action,
my gosh, it's powerful.
It's so powerful.
And you start to feel more
empowered because you're no
longer waiting for that
volcano explosion to happen
or that pendulum of pushing
yourself to exhaustion and
then taking a break to occur.
You're able to care for
yourself in ways that are
going to nurture your nervous system and
keep you calm and grounded
more often than not,
and actually reduce the
amount of anxiety that you
experience in your business.
And is going to actually
help you make more money
because your brain is not
going to be so consumed with
all of that overwhelm and
you're going to be able to
think a lot more clearly.
So there's so many benefits
to actually taking the time
to slow ourselves down and
to be able to understand
ourselves on a deeper level.
And I love helping people
understand themselves more
so that they can slow
themselves, their thoughts, their mind,
their body down and create
a life and business that
just feels sustainable.
So the way that I would
recommend to do that is to
grab a piece of paper,
like an A four piece of
paper and just draw a straight line,
smack bang in the middle
and label that line zero to ten.
And in increments of one.
So zero, one, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten.
And you might find yourself
playing around with it a little bit.
My clients will often play
around with it quite a lot
because they don't know the
difference between a seven and a six.
Or a seven and a six point five.
Because it's hard.
It can be really tricky.
Because again, we don't think about this.
And jot down,
what do you notice about
yourself and your stress
and anxiety at a seven, at a six,
at a three?
How do they differ?
And how do they build upon each other?
Because being able to do
that is just going to give
you so much valuable information.
And when you have that, then
you're going to be able to think about,
well, when I'm at a three,
what's helpful for me?
Because what's helpful for
you at a three is not going
to be the same thing that's
helpful for you at a seven.
And if you'd like more support on this,
this is exactly the stuff
that I work with my clients
in my one-on-one program
and the Aligned Wealth Academy.
So if you are listening to
this and thinking, oh my goodness,
and have just had a massive
mind explosion, because I know for a
reach out.
I would love to chat with
you about this and see how
I can help because it can
be really unfamiliar if you
haven't done it before.
And I totally get that.
And it's something that I
love helping people to work through.
And if you do have a go at
doing this and you do pull
out that piece of paper,
send me a DM on Instagram.
I love getting DMs from you,
hearing about how the
podcast has helped you
learn more about yourself
and learn more about your
relationship with money.
And it just warms my heart so much.
So please reach out.
I really do love hearing from you.
And I really hope that this
episode has been helpful to
get you thinking about how
you can move in twenty
twenty five in a way that
feels safe for your nervous system.
That's going to help you
feel grounded so that you
don't have to get to the
middle of the year and have a freak out.
On that note,
I'm going to end the episode
here with a reminder for
you to go and have a look
at the Aligned Wealth Academy.
If you are ready to heal
your relationship with money,
if you are ready to do that
deep inner work and really
get to the root cause of
your subconscious
relationship with money and heal that,
and you want some
ongoing support from a
registered psychologist who
is a money coach, go check it out.
I'm going to leave the link
in the comments for you.
I would love to see you join.
At the moment,
you are going to also get
access to early bird pricing.
If you're listening to this down the line,
you might have missed out on that.
So I'm sorry,
but for those of you who are
listening right now,
you are going to get access
to some pretty epic pricing,
which is great for you.
So have a look at the program.
If it's something that you
have been thinking about in
terms of your relationship with money,
now is a really good time.
And I can't wait to welcome you.
Sorry,
my dog is just floating around my
legs doing little circles.
I'm like, what are you doing?
But I can't wait to welcome
you into the program.
And I would love to support
you through that.
All right.
I will see you back on the show next week.
Until then, take care.
