As we step into 2025, social media feeds are flooding with "inspiration" posts, each demanding to know your word of the year and promising to help make this your "best year yet." But as a psychologist and money coach, I want you to know this: you can unsubscribe from this way of thinking and being.

Why does the new year need to start with so much pressure? Don't we already burden ourselves enough throughout the year? There's a weird tension that seems to accompany life's transitions – those key moments when society seems to demand immediate answers to life's biggest questions.

We see it everywhere: high school graduates faced with the daunting "What do you want to be?" Newlyweds fielding constant inquiries about starting a family. Retirees bombarded with questions about how they'll fill their newfound time. In this constant rush forward, we rarely give ourselves permission to pause, reflect, and truly consider who we are and what we want.

What if, instead of viewing the new year as a fresh timeline demanding dramatic transformation, we saw it as a natural continuation? An evolution of self that isn't confined by arbitrary dates or societal expectations?

When we're perpetually pursuing the "next version" of ourselves or racing to meet self-imposed deadlines for transformation, our nervous system remains trapped in a fight/flight response. This chronic stress state impacts every aspect of our lives – disrupting our sleep, slowing our digestion, clouding our thinking, and the one that that bothers me the most is not being able to tune into our authentic needs and desires.

In this activated state, we're not equipped to make choices that align with our true selves. Instead, we operate from survival mode, making decisions rooted in pressure and fear rather than wisdom and intuition. Those ubiquitous "new year, new you" messages aren't motivating us – they're keeping us in a constant state of physiological stress, always reaching for an unattainable ideal version of ourselves. 

To foster genuine evolution, we must first settle our nervous system. This means creating an environment of safety that allows our body and mind to recognize that it's okay to be exactly where we are. This might involve:

• Taking slow, conscious breaths
• Acknowledging feelings of pressure without judgment
• Recognising that rest and reflection are important to your growth

This January, grant yourself permission to simply be. Observe your current state without criticism. Notice when your body tenses in response to the "shoulds" and "musts" of resolution season. Remember that your journey is uniquely yours, unfolding exactly as it should.

Growth isn't linear, and meaningful change rarely coincides with calendar dates. Real, sustainable transformation emerges when our nervous system feels secure enough to explore new ways of being, not when it's racing to keep pace with social media timelines.

Instead of racing to reinvent yourself this January, try sitting with these questions from a place of calm:

❓ What feels authentic to my nervous system right now?
❓ What small shifts would help me feel more regulated and grounded?
❓ What parts of my life are already supporting my wellbeing?

You don't need a dramatic transformation or a perfectly crafted vision board to make meaningful progress. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is resist the pressure to constantly become someone new, and instead nurture who we already are - starting with creating that sense of safety in our own bodies.

So breathe. Feel your feet on the ground. Notice where you're holding tension and let it soften. Your evolution is a lifelong journey, not a New Year's sprint. And that regulated, grounded state? That's exactly where real transformation begins.

Eloise Tomkins is a Money Coach and Psychologist who helps women in business reprogram their relationship with money using body based techniques. Her popular membership, the Aligned Wealth Academy helps you shift your money fear so you can make more income without hustling harder. 

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